tsunamiwavesurfing:

i seen someone on here say “daddy spank me like an almost empty ketchup bottle” and since then i just been usin a knife to get the sauce out the bottle

The Buddhists say if you meet somebody and your heart pounds, your hands shake, your knees go weak, that’s not the one. When you meet your ‘soul mate’ you’ll feel calm. No anxiety, no agitation.
― Monica Drake, Clown Girl (via awkwarddly)

hello i want to be in a sorority, yes where do i sign up? i wanna live in a cool house and have special t shirts and hoodies thnx

northern-southerner:

I want someone who is emotionally stable who impresses my parents, but then goes down on me in the bathroom while my parents are still at the dinner table.